Free to Change Your Mind

Why is it that reason and facts often have little to do with what we believe?

Have you ever changed your mind about something you’ve thought or believed for a long time?

I grew up believing that it was impolite to ask too many questions when conversing with someone. It was “being nosy.” 

As a young adult I discarded this belief. I think there is, of course, a point where you can ask too many questions. But, for the most part, people enjoy talking about themselves and asking questions is a great way to get to know someone and express your interest in him or her (provided you’re listening to the answers).
 

Why did I change my view? 

Observing other people, gaining experience at conversing, and reading tips about making conversation all pointed to a different reality.

As humans, we're free to believe and think what we want. It’s a powerful thing. We’re free to maintain thoughts and ideas we’ve believed for years, decades and even lifetimes. We’re also free to change or amend any one of those thoughts if we prefer to do so. But the choice about how we think is always a personal one, decided by each of us. 

I (like most people) like “sticking to my guns.” 

Believing my beliefs and values are right feels good. 
 

The concepts in this article are part of Unconscious Bias. Learn more in this virtual seminar.  
 

Changing your opinion or viewpoint is what’s hard. 

Social psychologists have repeatedly proven this. We meet someone for the first time and form first impressions. We read or hear information (which may or may not be accurate), and immediately latch on. We have a negative experience with a Baby Boomer or Millennial and form lasting opinions. “As everyone who’s followed the research … knows, any graduate student with a clipboard can demonstrate that reasonable-seeming people are often totally irrational,” suggests Elizabeth Kolbert for The New Yorker.

To change our minds about something, we must access the executive function in our brains. And our brains are crowded with information and they’re lazy. It’s much easier to continue thinking the way we’ve always thought, doing things the way we’ve always done them, believing what we’ve always believed, and latching onto information that supports our own views (confirmation bias). 

And it’s not that we’re especially gullible. We can easily spot weaknesses in someone else’s arguments or points of view. “Almost invariably, the positions we’re blind about are our own,” says Kolbert. It’s called myside bias. And accurate information doesn’t seem to help, because people simply discount it.

One of the greatest freedoms we have is to change our minds. 

Oftentimes, we don’t talk about these occurrences because the story starts with us being wrong, but a change of mind can be a most profound experience.