Self-Awareness is the Strongest Predictor of Leadership Success

What makes someone a successful leader? Mental agility, persistence, regard for people — there’s a long list of skills and behaviors connected with good leadership. But topping that list is one that eludes most of us — self-awareness.

Research shows that 95% of people think they’re self-aware, but in reality that number is only 10 to 15 percent.

That means most of us don’t have a good understanding of ourselves and our impact on others. We unknowingly step on toes, alienate colleagues, allow thinking habits to creep into decisions, or cause those around us to disengage.

“I’m the boss,” you may be thinking. “People need to adjust to me.” And while that is true, consider your own experiences working for a boss who lacked self-awareness. How did it affect your work? How did it affect your commitment?

What does a lack of self-awareness look like?

A lack of self-awareness shows up in various ways. There’s the extreme example of someone who not only lacks emotional self-awareness but also self-control — key components of emotional intelligence. These individuals are quick to fly off the handle so the people around them tread lightly, are often stressed out, and keep their LinkedIn profiles always tuned to “open to new opportunities.”

A leader who lacks emotional self-awareness will likely also struggle with empathy. “Leaders who are aware of their emotions can better recognize and respond to their team members’ feelings,” suggests Tara Well, Ph.D. Emotional self-awareness makes it easier for leaders to put themselves in someone else’s shoes and respond in a way that builds trust and stronger relationships.

But a lack of self-awareness is often not this obvious.

Instead of lacking emotional self-awareness and control, the leader might instead not understand their own strengths, weaknesses, values and beliefs. Not being aware of these internal drivers means they can affect interactions and decision-making. Going with your gut instead of the most objective option is an example.

In this situation, it’s experience and intelligence — your “educated guesses” — working against you.

An example might be when hiring. You narrow the candidates to three. You interview them all. On paper one of them is a standout, but “something just doesn’t feel quite right.” So, you make a subjective decision and hire one of the other two. In this case, you can’t even test the objective choice here, because you don’t hire them. You’ve dispensed with logic in this situation and fallen back on memories and experiences. When you remove objectivity, it creates decision-making biases that can cloud your judgement.

Self-awareness is a fundamental component of Emotional Intelligence. Learn more by joining our live, virtual seminar: Developing Your Emotional Intelligence.

What are some signs that you lack self-awareness as a leader?

Mira Brancu, Ph.D. offers some signs of what a lack of self-awareness might look like:

• You dismiss feedback from or avoid conversations with certain people
• You have a strong negative reaction to certain personality styles
• You dig your heels in on some issues rather than remaining curious about what you might be missing
• You take some things more personally or become more defensive about certain comments.

How to identify your blind spots and become more self-aware

So how do you discover your real feelings, weaknesses, values?

How do you become more aware of the effect you’re having on other people?

How do you know when it’s you — and not them?

1. Get to the bottom of your emotions.

   Accurately assessing our emotions is tricky. We feel anger, but we don’t take the time to consider what’s behind this primary emotion. Is what you feel really jealousy? Is it annoyance at something someone did? Fear is another primary, negative emotion. Someone leaves you out of a meeting and you feel fear or even anger because you were excluded or worried about your job.

   Why does this subtlety matter? When you get to the bottom of your feelings, you can more easily express them to someone. And you can decide how to react or even whether you should react, because strong negative emotions can cause us to react without thinking, damaging relationships and our reputation in the process.

2. Take a careful approach to introspection.

   Becoming more self-aware takes introspection. But, thinking about ourselves and trying to accurately understand our motivations is difficult says Tasha Eurich, Ph.D. To make this introspection more valuable, she suggests that we ask ourselves “what” questions rather than “why” questions. Asking “what can I do?”, “what’s important to me” or “what are the situations that make me feel this way and what do they have in common” is better than “why am I so upset?” This approach helps keep us curious.

3. Ask for regular feedback.

   Trusted peers, team members or mentors can provide valuable insight into the effect you’re having on others. Getting someone to share candid feedback can be tricky. Making it comfortable for the other person and receiving that feedback graciously are key. “Can you think of ways that I can improve how I communicate with you and the team?” “How do you think I handled that situation?” Ask for examples too.

4. Practice mindfulness and reflection.

   Walk and let your mind wander as you examine your part in a situation. Journal. Meditate. Become a better listener and listen more objectively to your own inner dialogue.

5. Slow down and examine your decision making.

   Breathing is automatic. But when we consciously focus on it, we can control it. Same for decisions. Take time to reflect on previous decisions. What data did you include when deciding? What data did you reject? What assumptions did you make? Assumptions are not necessarily wrong, but we need to become more aware of when they’re at play.

6. Continuously learn.

   When you’re a leader at any level, it’s easy to overestimate your competency. “Certainty is the enemy of curiosity,” writes Craig Dickerson for Harvard Business Review. “Knowing is a barrier to learning.” Keep learning by reading and remaining open to new ideas and information, even when it’s contrary to what you have always thought.

Self-awareness is critical to workplace success, especially for leaders (or those who want to be). Understanding, not only your emotions, but your strengths, weaknesses, values and beliefs, enables you to make little intentional adjustments to your daily interactions and tasks that ultimately improves your emotional intelligence.