Stuck in Our Own Heads: How Overthinkers Can Struggle with Remote Work

Look, I know almost everyone loves working remotely and wants to keep doing it. Confession time: I’m one of the few who makes that “almost” part possible, because I’ve been working in the office, every day of the workweek, from the moment that option became available again.

It’s funny how other people’s stories help us understand our own better, isn’t it?

Like a lot of other companies, SkillPath went fully remote when the pandemic really took hold in 2020. But as soon as the office opened back up, I opted to head back into the office every day except for a five-day, work-from-home self-quarantine after a colleague tested positive for COVID.

The reasons I’ve always given choosing to work in the office are twofold. One is that the internet connection and equipment are better here. The other is that, even though I’ve done a lot of remote work in the past as a journalist (where I covered news and sporting events from Scottsdale to Saxony and a lot of points in between), I just feel more like I’m “at work” now when I’m in the office.

It took a BBC article popping up on LinkedIn not long ago to make me face another reason that I’d rather not work remotely unless I have to – and show me that I’m not alone.

People like me, who overthink everything, don’t always do well with remote work, especially if we’re alone when working remotely. In some cases, without adequate coping strategies, it can be actively harmful.

For overthinkers, especially those of us with attention deficit disorders, spending so much time in our own heads has its pluses and minuses. Channeled properly, our “What if …?” brains can be pretty creative, and we tend to be better than decent at identifying challenges and obstacles that others might not see.

However, in the absence of in-person communication and interaction, we tend to assume the worst when faced with any uncertainty – about our performance, about how we’re perceived by colleagues, about job security and a host of other things.

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That makes it easier to get stuck in a feedback loop of anxiety (we’ve all heard the phrase “paralysis by analysis”), which isn’t good for productivity or overall mental health.

Even in the office – especially in the summer, when people who normally come in to work like to take off early for long weekends – Fridays can be rough on me, because often I’m the only one on the floor those days. Those little personal interactions, everything from touching base on an ongoing project to dissecting last night’s game, just don’t happen on days like that.

Reach out too much online, in team chats or one-on-one messages, and it’s easy to feel as though coworkers perceive us as needy and intrusive. That can lead to withdrawing even from those outlets, and the result is – you guessed it – even deeper feelings of isolation and pessimism.

Struggling with remote work? Explore options and take action

If you’re fully remote and it’s not working for you, it might not hurt to explore options. Maybe a hybrid solution is best for you, or even a full return to the office. Maybe you need to stop thinking about being seen as “the needy one” and look for ways to both initiate and ask for more human contact.

Whatever your choice, you need to recognize when you’re overthinking and actively work to get out of your own head when you’re the only one around. The key word is “actively,” because external focus doesn’t come naturally for overthinkers.

Part of that involves preventative communication. Swallow hard and be honest with your manager or supervisor. Ask for more interaction, information and clarification when you need it. Remember, though, to frame things with “I” statements so that it doesn’t sound as though you’re accusing your higher-ups or colleagues of neglecting you. In the end, overthinking is the overthinker’s issue, and owning that is important.

The other part requires taking concrete action. Get something – anything – done, no matter how small it feels. Then get something else done. Nobody climbs a mountain, runs a race – or writes a blog post about overthinking – all at once. It’s important to know where you want to wind up, absolutely, but getting there is a one-step-at-a-time proposition.

The important thing is to focus on the step you’re taking at that moment, rather than dwelling on all the ones you should have taken and still have left to take.

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