The Truth About Perfectionism

“Perfect!” It’s a compliment, right? Being perfect is something we strive for and think of as a positive attribute. But is it?

When finishing a large project, most people feel relieved and are proud of their accomplishment. However, for perfectionists, this often isn’t the case. They obsess over what they could have done better and never feel like they’ve done good enough. When taken to extremes, perfectionism can lead down a path of self-destruction and poor mental health.

What Is a Perfectionist?

Perfectionists are people who refuse to set their standards lower than perfection (for everything), resulting in impossibly high and unattainable goals. Having high goals may seem beneficial, but performance and perfectionism are not linked. After analyzing nearly 100 studies, Harvard Business Review notes that the psychology of perfectionism is “rather complex.”

Perfectionists do have good qualities, like being motivated, conscientious and engaged in their work. These people often work longer hours as well. However, the positives are offset by the negative effects attacking the person’s mental health, stress, self-worth and success.

A perfectionist may feel motivated, but they are not productive because they often spend too much time overanalyzing their work. Because of this, they’re not completing everything they need to. Some perfectionists are also procrastinators; they fear that the work they do will not be perfect, so they just put off doing it.

Where Does Perfectionism Come From?

While still unsure, psychologists have theories of where perfectionism stems from. It’s possible that perfectionism tendencies start at a young age, when children are driven to be overachievers in their schoolwork and sports. This early pressure can lead to an obsession with success and striving to be perfect. Another theory is that children pick up on their parents’ perfectionist behavior and mimic it.

How to Change Your Perfectionist Mindset

1. Mistakes are an opportunity to learn.

   Mistakes happen and they’re normal. How you view them is what matters. View your mistakes as a learning opportunity. You know what better to do next time. This should be motivating; you’re becoming more knowledgeable.

2. Realize that perfect is subjective.

   Others around you, including your boss and team members, know that perfect is unrealistic. A project can meet expectations by being “good enough”. Just because it isn’t perfect, doesn’t mean it’s bad. They know that, now it’s time for you to believe it too.

3. Set realistic goals.

   Having goals that are unattainable is pointless. When you make a goal, consider all the factors, like the time it will take you to reach the goal and any outside assistance you may need. For some, it’s helpful to write goals down. Try the SMART approach. SMART goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant and time-based.

4. Failure isn’t something to fear.

   Everyone needs practice to be good at something. Being scared to try (because you might fail) causes you to miss out on opportunities. View the unfamiliar as a chance to learn something new.

5. Talk with a professional.

   When perfectionism is still holding you back, despite your efforts to change, talking with a mental health professional might be the solution.

Now that you know what a being a perfectionist means, is it a term you would use to describe yourself? If so, think about how you can improve your well-being through changing your mindset.